PTL

I have heard from God, and I must testify.  God said that He had a new policy, that He wouldn’t be accepting any more prayer requests ’cause too many people were praying for silly stuff -- like that their favorite team wins the big game.  God wants those prayer warriors on FaceBook to unclasp their hands and actually do something.  God will only be helping those who actually do something to help others.  Oh sure, it was just some smart-ass that posted as God on FB, but ya never know!  Maybe the Lord was trying to speak to me thro FB since, obviously, He won’t do it directly.  God’s Director Of Communications is doing a poor job.  Used to, you’d get a chorus of angels or a burning bush or He’d even write to Moses -- today, you get nothing.      

Viva Las Vegas

Viva Las Vegas, roll the dice, baby

Viva Las Vegas, go for the glory

Bright lights city, where are we going to?

Going to a drive-thru chapel on a gator

Bright lights city, what are we gonna do?

Get married by an Elvis impersonator

Viva Las Vegas, oo wo oo

Viva Las Vegas, wo oo wo

Viva, viva Las Vegas!  

That Sweet Savanna Smile

Savanna has an 18th b'day in 10 days. I just don't know if I'll be here then.

She sweeps in like a gypsy

In her magical style

She can light up any dark room

With that sweet Savanna smile

C’mon, let me say

C’mon, make my day

C’mon, shine a while

That sweet Savanna smile

Nearer My God To Thee

I thought this kinda creepy poem would make a good post on Friday the 13th, but, quite frankly, I don’t know that I’ll still be here then.   

I had a dream, no Jacob’s ladder for me

No, no angels in heaven that I could see

I really want to be

If I really can

Nearer my God to thee

Nearer to His hands

He knows my name, He can look up the number

Talk to me direct, no distractions, no slumber

Nearer my God to thee

Nearer to His hands

I really want to be

If I really can

I’m waiting, I’m waiting to hear

Scrambled eggs but no toast today

O Lord, where, where is it near?

Speak to me, let me know the way  

Just Poetry, 'K?

I just made a big investment in Scott Tissue, just trying to drum up business.  Do not take these sad lines too seriously, just poetry, ‘K?

Golden Slumbers

This is not the way I wanted to go out

Lord knows this is not right, cryin’ at night

All I can see is lights and shadows

All I can hear is bumps in the night

When the lights go down, I’ve got nothing to say

Time to end this mess and call it a day

Golden slumbers, do not let me roam

Once there was a way to get back home

I once had a dream that’s never coming true

Lord, some answers before I die

So, this is how it ends reaching out for you

Some answers, please, Lord, I ask why?

Please don’t cry for me, just let me go die

Look for me on that beach on ‘the other side’

Golden slumbers, just poetry

Can anyone, can anyone hear me?

Domestic Terrorism

OMG, my Dad pulled the most boneheaded move the other night!  Bless his heart.  At least, we now know the answer to the age-old question:  is there anyone more despicable than someone who parks in a Handicapped Park and doesn’t need it?  The answer is yes.  My Dad went to the Food Lion and saw all the handicapped spaces were full -- so, he pulled in and parked in the fire lane!  Yeah, boo hiss on him!  :p  He thinks the rules do not apply to him.  A police officer kindly explained the error of his ways.  Anyway, I was inspired:      

Domestic Terrorism At Food Lion

Gonna listen to a story ‘bout a man named Bill Slade
No huntin,’ goes where his bill can be paid
Went to Food Lion, all the handicapped spots were full insane
So, he pulled in and parked in the fire lane!

Privileged character, he is
Domestic terrorist
Or ol’ coot!?  

WYAL

Trophy,* if you’ve ever wondered

Wondered if I am in jail

I’m wastin’ away in a small town

Our radio station, WYAL

Have you ever heard the BIG Y?

It is 680 on the AM dial

Maybe you and me were never meant to be

Maybe think of me once in a while

* The nickname of my model girlfriend in college.