BIBLICAL NEWS

The Book Of Hillary (which was kept out of the Bible by men for obvious reasons):

In the beginning, God created woman in her own image. And she saw that it was good.

God decided woman needed a dumb brute for a companion to do the heavy lifting. That is where man come from.

The problem is, man is so dumb that he thinks he’s in charge.

P.S.: Did God dangle a preposition or did a man screw up the translation?

So, Goodbye, Dear Friend

Get out your tissues. This be about the transitory nature of life.

Another day, another soul has passed

Quietly, he breathed his last

No trumpets blared, no thunder rolled

Silently, another soul has gone


There was no, no Farewell Address

A brief summary of his parts

Another soul who made no, no waves

He, he left only empty hearts


So, as I do say. goodbye, dear friend

‘Til that day, when we meet again
 
Edwin Stallings (1934-2014) was a friend and neighbor of Gran & Grandma. He used to stop in nearly every day, and he and Gran would solve all the world’s problems. After Gran passed in 2001, he helped Grandma with her garden nearly every day. When Grandma gave up driving, he remained Grandma’s link to town, the latest news and gossip. When Grandma finally could no longer accept visitors, Edwin still often stopped to check in with a family member. Of course, Edwin attended Grandma’s funeral in 2011.

No statue of you, and no plaque, too

No one heard a twenty-one gun salute

And, now, you are only a memory --

But you did mean a lot to me

THUNDERSTRUCK... By AC/DC ;)

Aurgh, ah, auh…

Aurgh, ah, auh…

Aurgh, ah, auh…

Aurgh, ah, auh…


Aurgh, ah, auh… THUNDER

Aurgh, ah, auh… THUNDER

Aurgh, ah, auh… THUNDER

Aurgh, ah, auh… THUNDER


I was caught in the middle of railroad tracks… THUNDER

And I knew, knew there’d be no turning back… THUNDER

A train, yeah, straight from Hell coming for me… THUNDER

And I knew, knew I was ‘bout to be… THUNDER


The conductor had horns and a pointy tail… THUNDER

Those steel wheels smoked on those iron rails… THUNDER

If she’s good for you, she’s good for me… THUNDER

And I knew, knew I was ‘bout to be… THUNDER


I was shakin’ like a leaf

When a calm came over me

Knew I was ‘bout to be…


THUNDERSTUCK… by AC/DC

THUNDERSTUCK… by AC/DC

Oooh, oooh, yeah

THUNDERSTUCK… by AC/DC


Aurgh, ah, auh…

Aurgh, ah, auh…

Aurgh, ah, auh…

Aurgh, ah, auh…


THUNDERSTUCK… by AC/DC

THUNDERSTUCK… by AC/DC

Oooh, oooh, yeah

THUNDERSTUCK…

By, by AC/DC
 

Just Call Me Uncle Roscoe :p

I’m the Uncle who is locked in the attic every day

The Uncle no one politely talks about

I’m the Uncle who is wheeled out on a holiday

Uncle Roscoe, I like to watch, no doubt

Take The Red Line

The Red Line is the bus that runs between my niece’s apartment complex and N.C. State.

Fans of Elvis may recognize “Love Me Tender.” Not an Elvis fan? What is wrong with you? :p

Take the red line to your class

All your dreams fulfilled

Take the red line, I love you

And I always will


On the banks of the river of knowledge

Cast in your line

Facts will wiggle, facts will nibble

In the sunshine


Take the red line to your class

Reel in your catch

Take the red line, howl for me

Raleigh is where it’s at

That Achin' Need

She got me in her clutches

She got me in her clutches

She will make me bleed


Yeah yeah, oh, um um, yeah

I got that achin’ need


She will rip my heart out

She will rip my heart out

She will make me bleed


Yeah yeah, oh, um um, yeah

I got that achin’ need


She’s a devil, she’s a devil

I’ll do anything for her


She’s a devil, she’s a devil

I’ll do ANYTHING for her


She’s a devil, she’s a devil

I’ll do ANY THING for her


Before you go, and I’m gone

Before you go, and I’m gone

Can we do the dirty deed?


Yeah yeah, oh, um um, yeah

I got, um, that achin’ need

 

MOVIE SCRIPT: Spanktopus

MOVIE SCRIPT: Spanktopus, a tongue-in-cheek spoof of SyFy movies featuring LOTS of bikinis and LOTS of red bottoms. An old teacher -- Betty White? -- dies and goes to Hell and is reincarnated as Spanktopus, an octopus with a hand on four tentacles. She is sent back to continue her naughty non-lethal habit of spanking… which she does… by patrolling the beaches and marinas, wrapping a tentacle around thighs and spanking with her hands on the other tentacles. Perverted Catholic priests are called in to perform an exorcism, but they are met with opposition form the local business community who enjoys being overrun during Spring Break. As the mayor of Spanktopus U.S.A. says “A lot of young women like to be spanked.”

P.S.: Didn’t know I had it in me, did you? Who wants to go to the Academy Awards with me when I pick up my Oscar for best screenplay?