Just Call Me Uncle Roscoe :p

I’m the Uncle who is locked in the attic every day

The Uncle no one politely talks about

I’m the Uncle who is wheeled out on a holiday

Uncle Roscoe, I like to watch, no doubt

Take The Red Line

The Red Line is the bus that runs between my niece’s apartment complex and N.C. State.

Fans of Elvis may recognize “Love Me Tender.” Not an Elvis fan? What is wrong with you? :p

Take the red line to your class

All your dreams fulfilled

Take the red line, I love you

And I always will


On the banks of the river of knowledge

Cast in your line

Facts will wiggle, facts will nibble

In the sunshine


Take the red line to your class

Reel in your catch

Take the red line, howl for me

Raleigh is where it’s at

That Achin' Need

She got me in her clutches

She got me in her clutches

She will make me bleed


Yeah yeah, oh, um um, yeah

I got that achin’ need


She will rip my heart out

She will rip my heart out

She will make me bleed


Yeah yeah, oh, um um, yeah

I got that achin’ need


She’s a devil, she’s a devil

I’ll do anything for her


She’s a devil, she’s a devil

I’ll do ANYTHING for her


She’s a devil, she’s a devil

I’ll do ANY THING for her


Before you go, and I’m gone

Before you go, and I’m gone

Can we do the dirty deed?


Yeah yeah, oh, um um, yeah

I got, um, that achin’ need

 

MOVIE SCRIPT: Spanktopus

MOVIE SCRIPT: Spanktopus, a tongue-in-cheek spoof of SyFy movies featuring LOTS of bikinis and LOTS of red bottoms. An old teacher -- Betty White? -- dies and goes to Hell and is reincarnated as Spanktopus, an octopus with a hand on four tentacles. She is sent back to continue her naughty non-lethal habit of spanking… which she does… by patrolling the beaches and marinas, wrapping a tentacle around thighs and spanking with her hands on the other tentacles. Perverted Catholic priests are called in to perform an exorcism, but they are met with opposition form the local business community who enjoys being overrun during Spring Break. As the mayor of Spanktopus U.S.A. says “A lot of young women like to be spanked.”

P.S.: Didn’t know I had it in me, did you? Who wants to go to the Academy Awards with me when I pick up my Oscar for best screenplay?