The N.C. State Fight Song 2014

Consider “the rules” of good poetry to be relaxed in this tongue-in-cheek exercise…


We’re the Red and White from State

And we got no respect

For those boys in baby blue


They’re pampered with free rides

And they take fake classes, too

Those boys in baby blue


Cheating is OK

It’s The Carolina Way

Let’s beat those snots in baby blue

GO STATE


We play fair, straight up every day

Truth, Justice, it’s the Wolfpack Way

We are the Red and White from N.C. State


And The Carolina Way (with apologies to Jimi Hendrix)…


The Carolina Way, all in my brain,

Being told by Dan Kane.

Rappin’ and fartin’ -- but I don’t know why.

Excuse me… while I plagiarize!


 

Officer Ryan

My second [2nd] cousin Ryan is now certified to be a policeman. He's a RoboCop on steriods!


Bad boyz, bad boyz

Whatcha gonna do

When Officer Ryan comes after you?


Busting chops

Taking names

Officer Ryan got no time for petty games


Bad boyz, bad boyz

Whatcha gonna do

When Officer Ryan comes after you?


Freeze, * beep beep *

You been caught and you going to jail

But not before Officer Ryan gives you a taste of Hell


Bad boyz, bad boyz

Whatcha gonna do

When Officer Ryan comes after you?


How ya gonna run? How ya gonna hide?

How ya gonna get away from Office Ryan?

You can fight, but you can’t win.

Officer Ryan gonna do you in


Bad boyz, bad boyz

Whatcha gonna do

When Officer Ryan nails you?

 

Hey, Meredith

Yes, this is my take on “Hey Jude.” That is right, I’ve stood up to Sir Paul and have delivered a personal poem which contains a universal truth -- “And it’s up to you to be you.” Poetry does not get more relevant than that!


Hey, Meredith, you are ten

The whole world will come a’knockin’

Awh, please do not let ‘em in

Just keep on, keep on rockin’


A Cracker Barrel waitress is what I see

Or a nurse, if that is what you want to be

You can be a horseback queen

Or a model, if that is your dream


Hey, girl, the future is yours to do

And it’s up to you to be you


It’s up to you to be you


Any time you hear the knocks, Meredith, do not coolly answer the door

Please wait ‘til you are much older

Well, you will learn, my sweet girl, that it’s a fool who plays it cool

By making the world a little colder


Na na, na na, na na na…


Hey, Meredith, you are ten

The whole world will come a’knockin’

Awh, please do not let ‘em in

Just keep on, keep on rockin’


Na na na, na na na na

Na na na na

Hey, Meredith


Na na na, na na na na

Na na na na

Hey, Meredith


Na na na, na na na na

Na na na na

Hey, Meredith

 

It's Summer!

Pool halls, arcades and a hot dog stand

Bumper cars and a Tilt-A-Whirl

Bikini shops, what a playland

Summer’s here, time for a girl

Got no time for castles in the sand


It’s Summer, where-eh-ever you go, you go

It’s Summer, with Jan & Dean on the radio


My snow cone is drippin’ at my feet

Checking out the girls of the Anchor Green

They wear short shorts as they prowl the street

They be looking for a nighttime dream

As they sleep all day on the beach


It’s Summer, where-eh-ever you go, you go

It’s Summer, with Jan & Dean on the radio


It is my firm philosophy:

Life is short, gotta keep on rockin’

Today, tomorrow and forever to be

But Anchor Green girls keep on knockin’

Wanting to hang out with me


P.S.: The Anchor Green was an ‘iron park’ at the beach where I spent my formative years during the ‘70s. Not being a jock, the sand held no interest for me -- “going to the beach“ meant “going to the Anchor Green.” Sadly, the Anchor Green has lost out to condos.

 

Ode To Saint Nipplos ;)

Jolly ol’ Saint Nipplos

Please leave for me

A big nipple on a boob-los

Under my Nipplos tree


Oh, it’s Nipplos Day, Nipplos Day

It’s every day for me

I need a nipple on a boob, I say

To kiss and suck endlessly


I adore the hotness of wet tees

And, my goodness, a tight bikini

I luv those lil’ poles that make pokies

Oh, Saint Nipplos, what you’re doing to me


Jingle bells ring, and falls the snow

On the roof of a nativity scene

Hope Nipplos brings some mistletoe

To hang over the nipple of a teen


Hey, Saint Nipplos, your reindeer have horns

Does that, my gosh, make ‘em horn-y?

Were they like like that the day they was borns

Or is that horniness just me?


Merry Nipplos Day to all

And to all a goodnight

Suck on a nipple, y’all

And do it right, don’t bite!