Miss Ava Marie

Her name is Ava Marie

Yippee, oh, yippi

A great niece, I’m a great uncle

She was born on the second of July!

Miss Ava, Miss Ava Marie 

There’s a sign up ahead to see

Welcome to our world, such a special girl

It is a happy place to be

Amazing Grace

I’m going to Hell.  Shall I save you a seat!?  :p

Amazing Grace, looking up her dress

Seeing what is, what is it

Panties are not the best things in life

But they are next to it!

Humor, too, is one of His creations -- even bawdy humor!  :D

But seriously:

Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound

That saved a wretch like me 

Once was lost, never to be found

Once blind, I still can’t see


O damn You, God, damn You to Hell

Why have you foresaken me?

I really want to know, please do tell

Divine plan? I don’t see


My faith’s been shot and left for dead

Faith is dead, pray for me

In the middle of the roadbed

Preacher man, I can’t see


Amazing Grace, a load of shit

A promise was made to me

Of eternal life, but forget it

Preacher, don’t lie to me

Miss Sara's Cabin

So, I went to see Sara

Out in Californiland

I checked into her cabin

And she took me by the hand


She lit up a candle

And she showed me the way

Voices in the whispering wind

Thought I heard them say


Welcome to Miss Sara’s Cabin

Such a lovely place, such a lovely face

Plenty of room at Miss Sara’s Cabin 

Anytime of year, you can find it here


Mirrors on the ceiling

Shag carpet on the wall

Stuck in a ‘70s porn movie

Miss Sara’s cabin has seen it all


The last thing I remember --

I snatched my hand away

Stabbing it with their crusty knives

I knew I had to get away


Relax, said Miss Sara

I am programed to please

You can check out anytime you like

But you can never leave!

Don't Ask

Please don’t ask how I’m doin’?

I’M JUST SITTING HERE, WAITING FOR THE END

I REMEMBER WHEN  WHEN WE WERE FRIENDS

There is no future calling for me

No future that I can see 

I’M ON MY LAST LEG, WAITING FOR TO GO

UP AROUND THE BEND, UP AROUND THE BEND  

An Unfinished Life

There are times when I sit and wonder

Whatever became of me

I really do not want to go now

An unfinished life for me 

O, what I would have done

If only I’d had more time

Great things you would have seen

But I, I needed more time!

I’m ready to breathe my last

Time to put out lights

Cry for what might have been

An unfinished life

There are times when I sit and wonder

An unfinished life is what I see

My Rest Home

(sung to the tune of “Deadman’s Curve”)

Cruisin’ in my Rascal slidin’ across the floor

Burnin’ rubber, strippin’ gears, bumpin’ into your door

Challenge there and then to drag, two dash hounds

Ol’ man Woot’s bedpan will be out-of-bounds

‘Round the nurse’s station, IVs to drain

Depends for you and me in victory lane


My rest home, it’s no place to play

My rest home, best to keep away

Won’t survive my rest home!

* cough, wheeze, cough *

And More...

I’m too busy living to worry ‘bout dying

I, I am not lying, I am, I’m crying

I am not ready to go yet

This show ain’t over, you know, ye

Do not remember me for what I’ve become

A balding broke down ol’ coot, that’ a nice sum

Remember me for what I was

I was eye candy, had that buzz 

My faith’s been shot and left for dead

In the middle of, of the roadbed